Saturday, January 27, 2007

group hug

533653394 - stop looking for happiness, it's right next to you.
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wish I hadn't messed up the many friendships I once had. And I wish pain wasn't such a casual companion to love, and that love really was blind instead of dumb. And I wish I never hurt him just because he hurt me.

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I love him. He is the cause and solution...to all my problems in life.
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When I’m done with you, you’ll be fragile, naked, vulnerable, and alone. And probably crying. Oh it will be a great night.
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Chelsea Smile: A torturing term used all around the world but originating in Chelsea. The victim’s hands are tied or held and the sides of there mouth are cut slightly breaking the strong lip structure. The victim is then kicked very hard in the nuts or in the case of a woman a leg is broken and as the victim screams the cuts rip creating the Chelsea Smile.
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This forum is like liquid gay on crack.
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i feel like the only reason she's still with him is because they've fucked and she feels useless for anyone else. So whenever I hear her say "I love you" to him I want to scream and punch her / him / both in the face, because I feel like it cheapens the genuine, pure feelings I had for her unappreciative, inconsiderate ass of a friend. It makes me feel like maybe I shouldn't try to be nice or caring or sincere because apparently premarital fucking is what really matters to a girl.
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my belief is the drinking problem is a manifestation of your unresolved pain.
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For the first time in my life, I think I am truly in love. But for some strange reason, I can't say it. I think the words have been tainted by all the meaningless "I love you"'s that have been thrown around.

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sometimes my emotions for her well up in side me and i feel like i am choking. it makes me sad that i will never know if we were right for each other or not.
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i now understand why if your love isn't returned it just can't work. i don't know whether to end it now or wait until it all blows up. i feel guilty for letting it continue. i hardly even want to have sex with her. i only see her because she sounds good on paper.
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no way to back out and say "i'm sorry it just isn't what i think love should be.

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I love her.Deeply, profoundly, intensely. Truly. She's my light and my being.
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i feel a strong hate for those around me, because they do nothing but complain about how bad they have it, when they have money, happiness, love.. it drives me fucking nuts.

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1)i love her.2)she makes me want to die.
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what am i, if i can't be his?

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i want to feel something when some one touches me. I want tears to well up in my eyes when their lips brush against mine. When a hand is placed on my bare stomach i want it to sink completely through me. I want to be ripped open as if i was a buttoned shirt so we can both see what i look like inside. My eyes are dry and my skin is cold, and although i know i am alive, i yearn for a stinging heat to sit in the middle of my chest and torture me. I would give anything to cry, to sob and gasp violently on my lovers chest, and then close my swollen eyes and fall deeply asleep listening to the murmurs underneath his skin. That will be the day i fall in love.
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and to this day I still love this divine perverse girl, despite having been broken up with her for many years now.

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i may not love my boyfriend. i may just be severely emotionally needy and incapable of actually giving love.

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.i am scared of giving away part of me to someone i could lose. it isnt fair on him.
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This made me much more cynical, much less naive...
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It messed up many things but in the end brought me to the person I love. Sometimes bad comes out of good.

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Even though i always shout at my dad and argue with him and sometimes detest him more than anything in the world...I love him so much more than he realises and couldnt live without him and it makes me want to cry.

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