more texts

03/17 11:46
You are so sexy! I can't wait to hump you

03/18 12:06
Send me more. Im addicted to you

03/18 12:19 am
My favorite one is the one with your but in the air. I just wish i was there to hump you to pieces.

03/18 12:24 am
I want to lick your pussy so bad. My dick is so hard it hurts

03/18 12:28 pm
I like knowing that my wife is the sexiest woman alive.

03/20 11:18am
I am so in love with you. I can't stop thinking about you

03/26 11:25pm
Dont forget my pictures my love bug

christmas 2007

I have a lot to write.



But before I catch up on the last 8 months I'm going to write about my Europe vacation.

I should have written each day so my memory was more vivid, but I guess now is better than never.



December 14th: The night before we left



Today was mostly uneventful. We left for Salt Lake at about 5:00pm and found out in Malad that I had forgotten my passport. It delayed us for 2 hours. Good thing our flight was the next day.



December 15th: Flying all day.



We decided we needed to hang out with Cassie before we left. Of course. Josh, Cassie, her friend Nate(?) and I went to a pancake house in Sugarhouse. It was packed and the food was horrible, but it was still fun. Josh stole an adorable windmill thingy for me. Aw he's so sweet.

So Justin drove us to the airport about an hour before our flight left. We had forgotten the laptop so Justin had to go back and get it while we checked in and waited. While we were waiting I gave my family a call but I couldn't get a hold of them. Oh well, I guess I've gone longer than 10 days without talking to them.

So we're stuck in a crappy plane for 3 hours while we head towards Cincinatti. It was an old, beat down plane but it was the most comfortable flight I had ever been on. Mainly because the seat next to me was empty so I was able to put my feet up and rest my head in Josh's lap.

We landed in Cincinatti and after getting off the plane went straight for the bar. We had long island ice teas and a bowl of fries. They were the best tasting fries I had ever had. They weren't anything special though, so I don't know why they were.

We took off for the plane and I was a bit tipsy so I tried joking with the employee at the gate. She was pretty funny. She told me how to order in french. "'hamburger, sil vous plait?"

This plane was nicer than the last one, but considerably less comfortable. Delta likes to torture their customers I guess, because all we got to watch were two crappy movies (Stardust and Mr. Bean's Holiday or something) and had a small, very processed meal that I wouldn't have touched had I not been so hungry.

Josh spent a lot of time talking to the contractor next to us. He was on his way to Dubais and then to Afghanistan. Josh didnt see me, but I cried a little when they were talking about Afghanistan and Josh being deployed. I guess its starting to hit me. The only person in the world who truly is and has always been there for me won't be for a whole year. I guess I only have about a month left with him. How extremely depressing.

So while they were playing Stardust I thought the movie was only in French. I went halfway through it before I realized I had the sound on the wrong channel. Silly me.

I don't think I slept once on this whole 8 hour flight.



December 16th: Arrive in Paris



We arrived in Paris at about 10am if I remember correctly. Customs was a joke. The guy barely glanced at my passport and I was given the OK to go into his country. The airport was freezing and very uncomfortable. There were English advertisements everywhere. We took a train to their central station and then looked for directions to our hotel. We asked everyone where it was and noone knew. It wasn't a small or far away area either. We stayed at the Best Western in St. Maurice. We asked as many people as we could find who worked at the train station where St. Maurice was and noone could help us. They basically told us we were screwed. We finally found two helpful people who actually made an effort to help us and sent us in the right direction.

We took a train to the train station in Paris and a guy played an accordian for us. It made me want to learn how to play one.

Little did I know but should have taken into consideration, banks aren't open on sunday in France. Which means we had no money to take the subway to the hotel. (Before we were able to use our credit cards). Not that we knew where our hotel was. We had the address but we were just guessing our way there.

After asking over 10+ people where we were (none of them knew) we finally figured it out and were headed in the right direction. Miles and miles later, we came across a map with a sign pointing towards saint maurice. We stopped to discuss how very lost, tired, cold and hungry we were when a very friendly french man came riding on his bike with his kids. He gave us 10E and took us to his apartment to look up where the hotel was and then drove us there. He was the nicest French man I had ever met. He had lived in Manhattan for four years, had grandparents in Park City and his children's mother was from Eugene, OR. He was almost american to me.

So he dropped us off at the hotel and that was the last we'll ever see of him. I almost wish we had kept contact information to keep in touch, but I wouldn't have kept in touch anyway.

Let me add how FREEZING COLD it was there. It was about 32f or below the whole time.

As soon as we got to the hotel I jumped in the shower. It had been over a day (maybe even two) since my last shower. No conditioner and only the crappiest shampoo. My hair suffered so much from this trip.

So we went in search of food. I can't remember too clearly but I think we ate at Mcdonalds. It was like a resturaunt, not a fast food place.

Dec 18th

I hate that I didn't write everything when it happened. Things are pretty fuzzy to me now. Anyway we went to the Eiffel tower today. My batteries were dead. Typical. Some chicks started speaking spanish to us. They were mexican but one was mexican/american and spoke English to us. We took each other's picture. Well we took hers, but my batteries were dead. So I was starting to be ok with not getting any pictures of it, but we stopped at one of those tourist-trap stands and bought some more. Then we took some self-portriats. We walked all the way to the government building (i forget what its called) and asked some French kid to take our picture. He took like 3 of them, one of us kissing in front of it. They were precious. I started yelling at him in English to take one more and then he looked frightened. Josh told him what I said in french and he took one more then we were on our way.

So we walked through the Trocadero and the Palais de Chaillot and there were some protestors or a rally of some sort. I didn't know what archaic gibberish they were babbling but they seemed angry. There was also some homeless dude who jumped on the subway and started muttering something about "saddam" and "jihad" which really frightened me. I was sure he was going to blow up the train. I asked Josh what he had said and Josh said he wasn't listening but it was something about being hungry. sigh of relief. The subway was nasty but not nearly as nasty as New York's subway. Maybe its because it was winter, but at least it didn't have rats.

Sunday, Monday, partial tuesday.

I didn't have time to write yesterday, so I'm going to cover up until now.

Sunday after I had written I headed over to my grandma's house to finish my final project on the war journal of my great grandpa Albert Samuel Anderson. I was going to announce my engagement to the grandparents but they had already known. Josh and I wanted the wedding to be on June 1st. But G-ma and G-pa are going on a Mediterranean cruise and won't be back until the 8th. So I asked Josh and we changed the date to June 9th.
My grandpa loved his father so much. The stories just kept rolling off his tongue. So he gave me plenty of information. I wrote until my hand cramped.

So I went back to Josh's on what I thought was our last real night together and wrote an 8 page report. He fell asleep. I couldn't sleep so I played World of Warcraft. Eventually I just took some nyquil and cuddled up to Josh and fell asleep. I wanted to stay with him as long as possible so the next day I missed my first class and was half an hour late to my next class. Bad idea. I think because of him (well not because of him, but because of my weak will power when it comes to him) I'm going to fail a couple classes. No, I won't, but I will damage my beautiful G.P.A.

So I went to Modern Dance with John Meade. Got my papers back (85%, wtf, mate?) It's not an english class, if it was I would have done more grammar checks. On my way to folklore I saw Sarah and showed her my new ring. She was so jealous teehee. She told me how it's so hard for her and Trevor to be chaste, but he needs to have the priesthood for his family. I totally understand. I always wonder if Josh would still love me if I hadn't put out. That's why he said he didn't like me when we first went out. Oh well, things worked out well in the end. But it's not the end. Hopefully things will work out well forever. I hope he never hurts me.

So after school I heard that Joey broke his arm. Josh and I took him to Arctic Circle for (not so tasty) burgers and ice cream. Yuck, it was definitely a lesser quality food than we usually eat. And not much cheaper either.

Joey wanted to go over to Josh's and play Sim-sims (Simpsons) and he did for a couple of hours. We played Soul Caliber and he trashed me. I had been going easy on him at first but he actually can and does beat me every time.

So after I was tired of him crushing me I took him home. Eric had bought a Wii. How exciting. I played boxing tennis and bowling and then got tired of it and went back to Josh's.

Josh was playing warcraft when I got back. So I laid in bed waiting for him. He took about an hour, maybe an hour and a half longer and then came to bed while I was already asleep. I was a little mad about that, seeing as how that was our last night together. I should have left to work at 5:50am but I'm a pushover and i wanted to be with Josh. I might get fired for this. I haven't been to work since the 13th, and today is the 24th. Well if they don't fire me I'll just work hard for one month and then leave, if they do I'll go on unemployment. Win-win.

So Josh and I went to breakfast with his divinely perverse friend Kyle. I think Kyle restrains his pervertedness in front of me. Like I'm a real lady or something like that? Good. Let him think that.

Then we went home and Josh packed his stuff up for Idaho. He was being grumpy and needed to calm down, so even though I was kind of mad at him I started scratching his back and cuddling him and trying to help him get his darn mp3 player to work. He calmed down and instantly felt much love for me like he should. I know, I am that great. So he left and we said our goodbye's and our I love you's and here I am on his computer still sluffing work.

I should write in this more often.

Because the more I write, the better my writing skills are, right? Maybe.

I've decided I really need to write for one reason though, because when I try to remember things in the past the details are always fuzzy. If I write now, I'll keep them as clear as possible.

So let me write about yesterday.

It was my first day as an engaged girl. I officially belong to Josh. I couldn't be happier. I'm so glad it worked out the way it did. Granted, it would have been wonderful if he were to be stationed in Italy or Monterey. That's a selfish thought though, because he is doing what makes him happy so I'm happy too.
Yesterday I woke up to Josh getting up for work. As he was leaving he showed me how he was wearing his ring. I was instantly dreaming after that. He loves me and I love him. A couple hours later I got up and played a little World of Warcraft. Then I showered and got all pretty for him, cleaned his house, and waited for him to come home. We cuddled for about an hour while he napped and we waited for James and Jincy to come over. The moment they came over we started playing Donkey Konga. I couldn't believe it, all 3 of them are better than me. So I have no rhythm or musical sense, whats the big deal? Then we made Josh make a World of Warcraft character. Ha, he is such a silly noob. He's addicted and level 8 already! I'm so proud of him. I don't know if I really like him playing though because then he spends less time with me. A selfish thought, I know, but I still want him all for myself. Jincy and I went express shopping too. She bought herself a pair of pants. I was going to buy a few things but I came to my senses. There are more important things I need to save my money for right now.
So then Josh decided to take a nap while I went home and patched a few things up with my parents. Apparently my brother is a jerk and hinted at a "secret" but wouldn't tell my parents what it was. They thought I eloped. Duh. I went home and everyone admired my ring. It is beautiful, I have to admit. I designed it myself! Hee hee.
After entertaining Joey on Zelda Wind Waker for a little while I called Josh. Apparently he wasn't sleeping, he was playing WoW. Silly boy. So I came home and he made up a story about how he was level 8 but the computer crashed and he lost all his stuff and all his levels. I know better than that. But I'll let him boast anyway.
So we ate some fettuccine and went to bed. We talked for a long time like we usually do. I don't remember about what though. We said we aren't going to talk about the past anymore. I love talking about the past though, it makes me better understand who he is. Granted, his past is a little darker than mine. I'm morbidly curious. He rolled over and, like I usually do when he rolls over I scratched his back. I started picking at it and he snapped at me. He was really tired and I was hurting him. I understand. But apparently he felt really bad about it.
So we went to sleep. This morning when we woke up he rolled over and started kissing me. I thought "Oh jeez I hope he doesn't want some because I am dead tired." but he was just being affectionate before he got up. He's sweet. And when he left (wearing his new pretty ring that I spent more money on anything I've ever bought before) he told me he was sorry for being grumpy last night and gave me kisses and told me he loves me. So he left but I looked at the windowsill and he had forgotten his phone. Before he left I ran outside in my pajamas and bare feet. I scanned the parking lot until I came across him in his army clothes staring right at me. I held up his phone and yelled "you forgot your phone" and ran towards him. He told me he loved me one last time and kissed me on the lips and I went inside and slept, but it took a while for me to fall asleep without him there. Then around 10 I woke up to him scaring me awake. He thinks he's so funny.
I'll write more tomorrow. As for now, I have a 4 page report due.

Oh yes.

I forgot to add that he went to army today wearing the ring I got him. He is mine.

Ensign peak.

This is one thing I need to write down, because I want to remember it forever.

I knew he was going to propose to me because we went ring shopping the same week, that and because he told me he was going to.

The ring I picked out was everything I've ever wanted. .72 carats of a D colored diamond and Si2 clarity. It's princess cut and set in a white gold square cathedral setting. It's worth $2,430, or very near to that amount. He told me to get what ever ring I wanted, no matter what the price. So when I went to Shane Co. I found exactly what I wanted, this ring. I also added a $650 channel set diamond wedding band, which brought the total to over $3,000 dollars. I later made him take it back. Even though I loved it and wanted it so so so much, it was just way too much. I could tell he was bitchy about it, even though he didn't say anything.

It took them two days to size and mount my ring. He wanted to wait until he asked my dad but I was impatient and wanted to wear the ring immediately. I decided I was going to buy him a ring that day too, because I have to lay claim to my man. So I went to Kohl's while he picked up my ring. But as soon as he called me and said he was heading home I started to drive towards the Shane Co. to pick up the ring he was eying the other day. 325.00 and a size 10 later I brought it home and showed it to him. He thought it was too much but I think I'm warranted to spend at least 1/10th of what he spent on me.

So he said he was going to propose that night, I made myself a little bit prettier via makeup. It didn't last long. We drove up to Ensign Peak. He took me to a mountain! What I thought was romantic, was actually evil and conniving, because if I said no he was going to push me off. Every girl on the way there stared him down. Behold the power of a ring. It must have been just a little bit earlier than 9 when we got there. It took us just a couple of minutes to hike the muddy trail up to the peak. We got to the top, I couldn't hide how winded I was anymore. The bottom of my pants were muddy and I was light headed and my heart hurt from the exercise. We stood there for a couple minutes enjoying the view and catching our breath. We kissed. A couple of times.

Then he looked at me and said something obviously pre-scripted, but completely adorable and nauseatingly sweet. I wish I could remember it word for word, but it was just last night so I'll do my best;

"When I think of the future, and when I picture myself, I see you with me. When I see myself 5 years from now as a rancher, I see you by my side."

I cried, of course. In fact I was bawling. I had a waterfall of tears cascading down my face. Now that I think about it, those lines were semi similar to something on Scrubs. That's OK, it was still breathtakingly sweet, and I love him more than ever. In fact, it's kind of funny to think about, because I bet he thinks they're completely original and he's the greatest poet ever. Ha ha, well he is.

OK, so after he said those sweet things to me and I was bawling my eyes out and stumbling around he got on one knee and said "Mandee, will you marry me?" and I said yes yes yes yes and stumbled towards him and knocked the ring out of his hands. I made him get up and kiss me and he put my magnificent wonderful ring on my finger.

I eventually stopped crying and he started texting people. We took a couple of pictures and then we walked down the mountain holding hands as much as we could. By the time he got to the bottom of the mountain he had 14 texts either congratulating him or asking him who he was. More of the former than the latter, but too much of the latter for the "close" friends he was telling.

So afterwards we were thinking of just going home and loving each other but we decided to go over to Timma tim tim's place. Josh bought taco bell and I rented Emperor's New Groove (greatest movie of all time) and everyone loved it but mostly just I loved it.

Then we came home and talked about our past. He came to the conclusion that we talked about our past because our futures were set together. I know it's really because I'm an overbearingly nosy person. He doesn't know that, though. So we will keep it that way.

So we fell asleep after being "bored" teehee. And once again I fell asleep happier than I've ever been. I always doubt I can become any happier, because I've never felt the level of happiness I do now. Just when I thought I had hit a plateau, I find out he can and will make me even happier than I was before. We're going to spend our lived together and have puppies and babies but first puppies. I love him and I can now finally let myself be vulnerable and get rid of this damn wall thats been stopping me from becoming emotionally close to anyone. I'm so glad that it was him that broke it down.

12/19/2006 8:20pm
Don't forget you're my girl

12/28/2006 8:59am
I love you so much

1/10/2007 11:27am
Thanks for everything my lover

01/27/2007 10:49am
I love you baby, have a good day

01/29/2007 5:10pm
You are the best baby in the whole world

01/30/2007 7:27am
I love my baby

01/30/2007 10:01pm
OK I love you

03/23/2007 10:25pm
I love you most my precious

03/23/2007 10:32pm
Good night my baby girl that I love more than anything

03/36/3007 10:34pm
Thank you! I love you so much! You totally made me a happy soldier

04/13/2007 12:16pm
I love you so much I love how you get sexier for me everyday

04/13/2007 5:22pm
I love you more than anything even puppies

04/14/2007 12:05pm
I love you and have been talking about you the whole time with my dad.

04/14/2007 5:36pm
You want to go ring shopping with me?

04/14/2007 5:59pm
and then after we look at rings later that week i'll propose?

04/14/2007 11:01pm
please be so very careful and don't talk to guys. If anything happened to you I wouldn't be able to recover.

04/15/2007 9:45am
Lets get married asap like the first week in june

04/15/2007 12:22 pm
Love you so much my baby butt

04/15/2007 5:45pm
I still have to ask your dad for permission to marry you

04/15/2007 8:43pm
Just wanted to say that I love you and no matter what we are going to be together forever and be happy

04/16/2007 8:36am
I love you more than anything and hope you are happy

04/16/2007 5:17pm
I'm missing you so much! I just want to kiss and love you

04/16/2007 9:30pm
I just saw a plastic surgery poster with a hot lady on it and all I could think about was how much hotter you are! I'll call you in a couple hours

04/17/2007 11:29am
I just saw where we are going to live

You never called me after church on sunday, and you took me off your friends list. I can see you're upset, but why this? Was it a moment of anger? To cause unnecessary drama? To get a rise out of me? The only logical thing for me to do would be to not respond, because then once again you being manipulative would give you what you want and you would continue that behavior. But then again, humans aren't logical, they're emotional, so here you go.
You see, I want to be your friend still. I do love you dearly whether you see it or not. But I don't understand how you think it's ok to insult me, and then expect me to... what? Pretend you didn't say hurtful things like I have been up until recently? Not just about mardi gras. That was just the tip of the iceburg. It's every time I talk to you, and it has been that way for a while. You dont have any thread of consideration for some of the things you say to me. Things that I would never - no matter how mad I am - say to you. I can give some examples. You once texted me while I was in church and after telling you where I was you said "Oh. I thought you had given up on that." You can say now that you were joking, but I know you better. You said it because you were bitter. It was mean, and that is just a small example of what I deal with the majority of the time I talk to you. I can give more examples. The gossip. How dare you tell me your mom says I'm unhappy because I've "changed"? I have changed, I'm not going to deny that. I've only changed for the better. Happy people change! Wow what a surprise! I'm not letting you use me as a doormat as much as I did before! I must be unhappy! How about this one? "it would have been you if you didn't have a curfew"? Referring to my relationship with Josh. What makes it worse is you didn't like him, you just wanted him to like you more than me. A little bit hurtful, don't you think? You try to guilt trip me every time I do talk to you. How is not answering my phone flakey? I didn't have plans with you that day. flakey would have been if we had plans, and I didn't answer my phone. I didn't answer my phone because I didn't have time to talk to you at those times you called, and I didn't want to have a small casual conversation because that would lead you to thinking its okay to call me things like white trash because I'll let you. I guess what it boils down to is a matter of respect. You wouldn't say or do things like this if you had any respect for me.
I pulled away because a majority of the time we talked/hung out/whatever you somehow ended up making me feel like crap. I hate to admit you had so much control over my emotions, but you did.
I became distant because you were making me unhappy. It's as simple as that. I miss the Claire I knew and loved, but I rarely see her anymore. I know now that I should have dealt with these things differently, but its too late to change that.